Hurricane Valentino

 

Ah, yes. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, Valentine’s Day blows in with the force of Christmas and the expectation of Thanksgiving dinner. Enjoy!

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Working From Home

 

The following observations took place over the course of a very busy day.

Morning  You don’t really know yourself until you drink a liter of Stumptown and beat an egg.

Afternoon  My seventeen-year-old microwave has lasted five times longer than my MacBook or iPhone.

Evening  I read an article that said a “pentobarbital manufacturer is adamant in its opposition to Florida using it for executions since it may cause suffering.” Then I thought: Why would Adam Ant care?

And, scene.

Make It Happen

Dear Santa,

The last time I wrote you a letter, you ignored me. Why was a swimming pool full of plastic balls out of the question? It was only a little bigger than Chuck E. Cheese’s. I guess I should have just asked for a Blondie concert in our backyard. Anyway, I thought I would try again, this time with an adult list of commands. See to it, or I will tell everyone that you’re a fraud. They will believe me because they know that I know things.

  1. the power to make me follow through on my threats
  2. a magic red pencil that always has a sharp point a red pen
  3. dictionary brain
  4. computer brain
  5. a part-time job naming babies, pets, drugs, and nail polish—I can freelance

Sincerely and all that,

Me

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