Working from Home

Sophie Henson's typography

The following observations took place over the course of a very busy day.

Morning  You don’t really know yourself until you drink a liter of Stumptown and beat an egg. [Neighbors should be calling the cops by now.]

Afternoon  My seventeen-year-old microwave has lasted five times longer than my MacBook or iPhone.

Evening  I read an article that said a pentobarbital manufacturer is adamant in its opposition to Florida using it for executions since it may cause suffering. Then I thought: Why would Adam Ant care?

And, scene.

Senior Moment

AwesomeI was walking down the street, when I noticed an elderly man looking at me from the storefront up ahead. As I approached, we locked eyes and he hollered, “INDIAN CHIEF!” Was it the nerdy glasses? I took it as a compliment.

Make It Happen

GoldChristmasBalls_1024Dear Santa,

The last time I wrote you a letter, you ignored me. Why was a swimming pool full of plastic balls out of the question? It was only a little bigger than Chuck E. Cheese’s. I guess I should have just asked for a Blondie concert in our backyard. Anyway, I thought I would try again, this time with an adult list of commands. See to it, or I will tell everyone that you’re a fraud. They will believe me because they know that I know things.

  1. the power to make me follow through on my threats
  2. a magic red pencil that always has a sharp point a red pen
  3. dictionary-brain
  4. computer-brain
  5. a part-time job naming babies, pets, drugs, and nail polish—I can freelance

Sincerely and all that,

Me